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with some hair dye. I ask if this is the strangest job she has ever had to tackle. Not by a long shot. How about putting curlers in a horse's mane? I get the impression there are a lot more stories here, but I have to get a move on. I'm due on set. For me, as an actor, "The Patriot" is opening a lot of doors. No, I mean literally. Valet Number 1 and I spend the whole day opening two large doors through which a succession of actors strides purposefully and repeatedly. This is not as easy as it might sound. Well, all right, it's almost as easy as it sounds, but there is some skill involved. This is especially true in my case, as I am the valet entrusted with the job of taking Tavington's hat. While this is an honor and definitely one in the eye for Valet Number 1, it is fraught with difficulties. Tavington is a man of action and, furthermore, in an ugly mood. He therefore strides very fast, and considerable agility is required to grab the hat, open the door, step back, step forward and close the door again without colliding with anyone or tripping up a highly paid actor. I am grateful for the stark contrast between the real Jason Isaacs and his screen persona, as he patiently rehearses the routine with me. When we shoot the scene, I rise to the challenge, and everything goes smoothly, right down to closing the doors silently and without them creaking open again. (More astute movie-goers equipped with telescopes or opera-glasses might spot a finger holding the doors closed). Valet Number 1 and I have lunch with the officers. There are about ten of these, whose job is to stand around in groups and make the set look like a military headquarters. Like many of the extras, they are re-enactors or other enthusiasts of military history. Many are ex-military. Some have scathing remarks to make about the lack of historical accuracy in the production. Tavington's coat has too much red and not enough green, wouldn't I agree. I nod and mumble disapproving noises through my barbecued chicken. Tut, tut. Shocking! My thoughts are on the food. Movie people eat well.
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